gifts of perspective
A few months ago, a friend of mine and I were catching up in person for the first time in a while. We talk on the phone on a regular basis, but seeing each other in person has slowly decreased as our lives have changed and expanded. It was nice to be in person laughing and existing together and it gave room for much longer and deeper conversations. While we were chatting, she was telling me about how she described me to another friend of hers.
She spoke of me in a way that was so different from what I would have expected. She spoke about how I set goals and then achieved them. How I set my mind to something and I went after it. (Perhaps it was her way of really kindly telling me I’m a stubborn broad. Ha, ha!)
I always looked at myself and all I could think was that I hadn’t achieved my goals yet. A glass half empty kind of perspective.
This gift of a new perspective - one that’s a bit more glass half full came alongside some deep healing and internal growth in myself. At that moment, I realized I forgot to look at all the mini-goals I’ve achieved along the way and how I’ve overcome any obstacle I’ve encountered.
I am going to be jobless in the sense that I won’t have a W-2 employer in the new year. I’ll be working for myself. And that is absolutely terrifying and oh, so exciting.
I have no clue what the future holds, but I know I’ll figure it out. I can see that now with my a new lens gifted by such a dear friend.
*live*
What is it all for anyway?
We are born.
We live.
We die.
Maybe we’re reborn?
It’s the “we live” part that pokes at me.
If I’m not putting full time effort into building my own dream, I don’t feel like I’m living.
It started with a conversation about moving to a smaller town, taking a finance class and a five year plan.
And here I am at least five years ahead of our five year plan.
I’m willing to take the bet on myself.
I know I’m determined and persistent.
I know I can learn anything if I put my mind to it.
I know I will figure it out.
Even if it’s hard and scary and I’m crying so hard my eyes are swollen, I know I will figure it out.
And I’ll be living.
lessons & decisions
As we approached Spring 2023 and planting was going to be around the same time as my regular day job picking up, I knew I’d have to make a decision. Sprinkle in a bit of imbalance between work and life and the decision was made. I would need to find my next adventure before next year.
But I really didn’t want to start over with a new company or corporate job. I’d spent months watching people building their dreams through hobbies on TikTok and in my local community. Soap making, crocheting, marketing tools, coaching or consulting services, baking, building a vendor collective, launching a brick and mortar business and so much more.
Why could these folks go after their dreams and not me?
What was holding me back?
Finances - obviously a hurdle for anyone trying to run or operate their own business. But more so, fear.
I was so afraid to fail.
Over the last year, I’ve failed a LOT.
And that means I’ve been learning.
Don’t try to reinvent the wheel
I really thought I could make myself some home-built hydroponic system instead of buying a kit or system that has already been proven to work successfully. Spoiler alert - I was wrong.
Know when to rest
I push myself hard. That is my default mode.
I spent the summer pushing myself even harder. I counted down the days until I could rest and I knew that behavior was unhealthy and my body often paid the price.
Don’t rush things - be patient
At the same time things were picking up for my regular job we were entering planting season. I planted all our squash too early. A frost came and they just never grew after that. We also planted them in a new location which could also have had an impact on their growth. I was pumped to offer squash and at the end of the season, I have none to offer.
Best laid plans and all that jazz
Sometimes, the plan is a terrible plan and skipping the plan altogether is the better option, even if that means there’s some risk involved. Just do the thing.
You’re gonna lose sometimes
Not every day is a win.
Sometimes, it feels like I’m getting tagged out right before I slide into home plate.
That is devastating.
Other times, it feels like I’ll never leave the plate since I strike out every time I’m up to bat.
This is infuriating.
But there are some days where I hit the ball out of the park.
And those are the days worth celebrating.
So I’m diving into the great unknown of solo-preneurship in 2024. I’m excited to learn what I don’t know yet and navigate the next steps one day at a time.
Onward.
There must be something in the air because I’ve been writing about new perspectives this week too!