So habits….
I’ve been trying to get super focused with different habits over the last month.
If you’re following along, you may recall my focus on eating at home and staying diligent to follow ‘the meal plan’ vs. following all my hearts desires to eat buffalo boneless wings or tacos or some tasty brisket mac ‘n cheese from a local food truck.
Remaining on track with the meal planning has been a smoother transition than I expected.
I’m an over achiever / high performer / ambitious lady though, so adding one habit on top of our bucket of uncertainty with my leap into freelance work just wasn’t enough for January. 🤪
So we made a plan to get up early each day to do some ‘exercises’ - more like, ensure we’re still moving our bodies and building flexibility in these cold winter months and less like a workout.
When I was working, I was getting at least 3 miles worth of steps in each day (sometimes 7+ miles!), and since landing in this freelance space behind a desk in my office, I’m yet again reminded of why I left the wood paneled walls for an in-person job. We walk Oberon twice a day, so we’re still getting solid steps in, but it’s nothing like my last season of life.
I pitched the idea of early morning yoga, stretching or beginner workouts. And that was… tough.
First, I am a morning person, my husband is not.
Second, it was cold when we were trying this out. Like, under 15 degrees in the morning kind of cold. 🥶 And we have cement floors, making it a very uncomfortable experience in multiple ways. And then there were the ‘beginner’ videos that really didn’t seem like a beginner workout to me, but I still pushed myself to try while recognizing it was always going to feel uncomfortable because I’m doing something new.
And then, I pulled a muscle. Because I didn’t stretch ahead of time and I went too hard. (Did I mention I’m an ambitious lady yet?)
So I needed to rest and we took a break. Followed by a trip to Minneapolis. Once we got back, it felt like we had to start over and, the temps being below zero were really uninspiring so we opted to skip getting up early that week. Followed by a house sitting adventure, an upcoming day trip to a “Women in Ag” conference and then a Galentine’s Weekend away.
As I look at these hurdles to creating a ‘move my body’ habit, I’m asking myself some questions:
“What am I actually trying to achieve & why is this important to me?”
Answer: A way to move my body
Why?: Because I want to stay active and keep my body in good shape to do all my farm things that require a lot of physical effort & energy
Answer: Consistency in being active
Why?: Because I value consistency & know that having structure in my life helps me achieve my goals.
I didn’t like this one:
Answer: A new habit to build my discipline muscle
Why?: Uhhh…. because it’s my word of the year
I’ve reflected on this one a bit and I don’t like this answer because it’s too “fit in the box of expectations” for my liking. I don’t have to do everything different, but I must acknowledge that I myself, am different and so the classic morning workout just might not ever work.
By tying the idea that I have to ‘get up and move my body in the morning’ with ‘developing a discipline muscle’, that tells me that I’m more focused on control than on growth.
As January showcased and February seems to be lining up to do the same, daily morning workouts aren’t going to work for me. And it spurs a couple more questions…
Who said it has to be a morning workout anyway?
Is the goal of ‘consistently prioritizing moving my body’ too vague?
And, is the goal the right thing to be focusing on in this moment right now?
I’ll be chewing on those questions for a bit and I’m sure I’ll have an update for you on the next newsletter. But for now…
I’m shifting the way I think about how I apply my “word of the year” to my life.
When I select a word, the intention is to just be ‘open’ to learning whatever comes my way that is associated to it. More like adding a curious layer to everything I do and experience while asking, “what does this say about discipline?”
And of course, because phones and technology and whatnot, my social algorithms are highlighting great graphics on discipline. Primarily around the idea that utilizing discipline means you’re holding off on a reward until later.
When I think about it from that lens; building systems and habits that allow me to set my future self up for oodles of rewards, it seems I’m already doing that.
I’ve got rituals and habits that are working well for me every day, and some that I think need some refinement. As I was reflecting on my day-to-day work, having multiple meetings spaced throughout the day is actually making me less efficient. Let me explain how that’s shown up for me:
Last Friday, I had a 9:30am meeting and 1:00pm meeting. I opened my laptop around 8:30am and thought, “Welp - I can’t really get much done between now and my first meeting so I guess I’ll engage with folks on LinkedIn instead of diving into some deep mental work.”
After that meeting, I had an unexpected phone call and by the time I finally sat back down, I realized it was time to head into town because I had eggs to deliver before my 1pm meeting.
After my 1pm meeting, I stared at my computer feeling like I had accomplished nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada.
The reality is I DID accomplish things. I built relationships (and sold some eggs!) and that takes time too. But, I also have to make accommodations to my schedule to ensure I’m able to focus on my own goals and priorities so my work can be streamlined by summer and I can put more attention on Oberon’s Acres.
Perhaps if I release my interest in control for a moment, I’ll discover that discipline is telling me to adapt and accommodate to set myself up for long term success.
Will allowing myself to be open to learning more about discipline somehow bring me to a more centered state of mind when major crossroads of change come up in my life?
Miracles happen every day folks, I wouldn’t put it past the universe to pull a fast one on me.
Slow-living
I listed this as a self-descriptor on my newsletter bio when I started writing last year. And it’s listed a few other places too.
The other day, someone asked me what that meant. And I realized I hadn’t really talked much about that through my newsletter either.
I think slow-living is my life goal - it’s just an always present challenge and every moment is an opportunity to choose between a hustle and a slow life.
When I imagine myself in the future, like thirty to forty years into the future, I see a cute and spunky little old lady that still wears space buns as a summer hairstyle. I see moments when people call and ask me for advice and I can tell them something meaningful about my life and allow them to determine what they learn from it.
I see myself sitting on the front porch in my Adirondack chair watching the chickens cluck and peck around on the ground. I have some chill folk music playing in the background and I’m hand separating the rye grain from the chaff with plans to make a loaf of homegrown rye bread in the future.
Per Wikipedia, “Slow living is a lifestyle which encourages a slower approach to aspects of everyday life.”
I ate a lot of great food, drank tasty drinks, survived deep belly-aching laughter and experienced some incredibly amazing cultural experiences in the last decade of my life. I’m exceptionally grateful for the privilege I have to say this and for the opportunity to experience those moments.
and…
I wore masks and filled all my time with activities and events to the point that I lost parts of myself along the way. This hustle and bustle lifestyle resulted in me being much more anxious and reactive. I vividly remember mornings when I was unable to get out of bed, or when I’d freeze up in the apartment doorway suddenly overcome with an intense fear of crossing the threshold.
When I live a life with intention, the anxiety is reduced and manageable and my confidence is rooted in my sense of self, allowing me to be more responsive instead of reactive.
That’s slow-living to me.
Being intentional.
Listening to my body.
Prioritizing self-care.
Following my gut.
Welcoming failure.
Embracing community.
Joyously celebrating the wins - no matter how small they are.
Last week, we had a hoarfrost cover the trees surrounding our garden fields and gosh, what a glorious view. One I would have missed if I hadn’t been intentional about wanting to walk in the field and play ball with Oberon.
I invite you to join me in experiencing life at a slower pace.
What does slow living mean to you?