I don’t frequently long for summer. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever been this eager for the seasons to change.
You see when summer rolls around, I usually feel limited by the sun. My options are to bathe in SPF100 every 30 minutes, or accept my lobster fate. And I prefer colder weather because you can always add more layers. When it’s too warm, you can only take so many layers off before you’re arrested. [Insert grimace emoji here]
In recent years, as the chill of winter begins to cling a bit more to my bones and I’ve run out of enthusiasm to play another round of cribbage, I’ll get a travel itch to go somewhere tropical and warm, but it’s never a deep longing for a seasonal change; it’s just a touch of cabin fever.
This year though, I’ve been thinking about getting dirt under my fingernails and recalling Oberon’s zoomies in the field while we’re watering the garden. I’ve been contemplating what songs will go on my “Mower Jams 2023” playlist and feeling heartache that I can’t hop on my riding mower yet.
When we do our daily walks, I think of all color of the wildflowers I found last year as we walk past the spots they grew, and I think of all the new wildflowers we may find this summer. (That I am eager to share with y’all!) Although I love looking out our window feeling like we live in a snow globe, I’ve been bored with the three color options winter provides; green, brown and white.
Perhaps it’s because our seeds for the garden & Oberon’s Acres started arriving this week. Or, because there’s excitement in the challenge of doing something different and with a bigger purpose than just feeding ourselves. (We’re joining the Farmer’s Market!)
Even Silver Bullet, our Silver Laced Wyandotte is eager to get out of the coop, to the point of needing to be rescued. Typically, only our two older ladies come out of the coop and they know to stick to the dirt below their structure and not venture into the deep snow.
Although I have this ache of longing within my chest, I am also pushing myself to stay focused on the present. This isn’t my strongest skill and there are oodles of moments throughout my history where I’ve been antsy for ‘what comes next’. (My husband will confirm - I am impatient AF.)
Winter has given me a lot of time to dig deeper into some necessary healing. It’s provided me with space to learn that sometimes “doing nothing” IS the best thing to do. And, my winter commute has taught me to slow the fuck down, while driving, but also in life.
I’ve been learning that “on time” doesn’t have to mean I’m 15 minutes early to every event, and it’s even okay if I’m 5 minutes late. Hell, as I sit here typing this weeks boost and look at the time, I realize I planned to hit the road 5 minutes ago, but I also decided I wanted to make a chorizo breakfast quesadilla. And, after working 11 hours and getting 7 miles worth of steps in yesterday (Valentine’s Day is a big deal in the restaurant industry, and yes - you read that correctly, 7 fucking miles), I’m going to feed myself and take my time on the icy roads while speaking kindly to myself about how “time is a construct”.
Every season brings something different. I’ll have dirt under my fingernails before you know it, and I’ll be writing about how my forearms hurt from watering the garden. For now, I’m trying really hard to remember that this season (winter), the one I’m currently living in, brings rest and space to feel deeply and oodles of time to learn to be more patient, slippery roads to reiterate slowing down and reminders to stay living in the moment.
I’ll get to summer when I get there and it will be right on time.
Me too sister ♥️ on the bright side we are halfway through February and that makes me incredibly happy